Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor |
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Silent
Newbie Joined: 14 May 2009 Location: kingdom of Rose Status: Offline Points: 7 |
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Posted: 14 May 2009 at 07:49 |
A doctor dies and goes to hell.
The devil greets him and tells him that since he was doctor, and did some good that he could choose his eternity.
The devil opens the first door, there are doctors hanging from their ankles being whipped by demons.
"Oh my God, I don't want that", the doctor replies. The devil opens a second door to reveal doctors on fire being chased by huge beasts.
"That one is even worse!" says the doctor, getting more nervous. The devil opens a third door to reveal doctors in lounge chairs being served tropical drinks by gorgeous, scantily clad nurses.
"Sign me up for that eternity!" the doctor states. The devil then slams that door and says, "You can't go there, you weren't supposed to see that."
The doctor states why can't I go there? The devil replies, "Well.... that's nurse hell." |
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Nurse make a Difference
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paige.gersten
Newbie Joined: 14 Dec 2010 Status: Offline Points: 5 |
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The Elderly Gentleman Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown." |
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A fashionista behind a nursing uniform
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NurseBron
Newbie Joined: 29 Sep 2011 Status: Offline Points: 1 |
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bahahaha that's excellent! we've all had moments like that.
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crazy cat lady
Newbie Joined: 30 Aug 2012 Status: Offline Points: 5 |
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As a student nurse working a night shift it was the middle of the night and i was quietly checking all the patients in a dark bay an elderly lady whispered "can I have the bedpan dear?" I returned a few minutes later closed her curtains & switched her bed lamp on & proceded to pull down her knickers to place her on the bedpan. The lady looked at me half asleep & said am I alright? I then realised that I had the wrong lady & promply pulled her knickers back up apologised & shut the light off!!!
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garsideamy12
Groupie Joined: 12 Jul 2013 Status: Offline Points: 49 |
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garsideamy12
Groupie Joined: 12 Jul 2013 Status: Offline Points: 49 |
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It’s hard to live with a nurse because…
Edited by JFN Admin - 10 Oct 2013 at 15:07 |
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garsideamy12
Groupie Joined: 12 Jul 2013 Status: Offline Points: 49 |
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On a busy med-surg floor, the doctor stopped to brief me on a patient’s condition: “This patient is a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to play golf again unless you follow my orders exactly.” The doctor then began listing orders: “You must give an injection in a different location every 20 minutes, followed by a second injection exactly five minutes after the first. He must take two pills at exactly every hour, followed by one pill every 15 minutes for eight hours. He must drink no more and no less than 10 ounces of water every 25 minutes and must void between. Soak his arm in warm water for 15 minutes, then place ice for 10 minutes and repeat over and over for the rest of the day. Give range of motion every 30 minutes. He requires a back rub and foot rub every hour. Feed him something tasty every hour. Be cheerful and do whatever he asks at all times. Chart his condition and vital signs every 20 minutes. You must do these things exactly as I ordered or his injury will not heal properly, and he will not able to play golf well.” The doctor left and I entered the patient’s room. I was greeted by anxious family members and an equally anxious patient. All quickly asked what the doctor had said about the patient. I stated, “The doctor said that you will live.” Then quickly reviewing the orders, I added, “But you will have to learn a new sport.” Edited by JFN Admin - 10 Oct 2013 at 15:08 |
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garsideamy12
Groupie Joined: 12 Jul 2013 Status: Offline Points: 49 |
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A hospital posted a notice in the nurses’ lounge that said: “Remember, the first five minutes of a human being’s life are the most dangerous.” Underneath, a nurse had written: “The last five are pretty risky, too.”
Edited by JFN Admin - 10 Oct 2013 at 15:08 |
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