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Nursing Reports

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Janee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Janee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Nursing Reports
    Posted: 14 Dec 2007 at 21:59
I was working on an intensive care ward where a student was looking after a patient who was having neuro obs performed. The student was obviously feeling a little under pressure and hadn't spotted her mistake when she wrote in the patients notes.
 
"Slept for long periods but easily aroused!" Embarrassed
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Coffin Dodger View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Coffin Dodger Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Dec 2007 at 07:01

Hi Janee

I have run workshops for nurses on record keeping and report writing, and used examples of funny reports written by nurses and doctors to introduce some humour in what can be a dry subject.  
 

The following examples show that some doctors’ reports don’t always make sense.

 

‘By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling much better.’

 

‘After consultation Dr Smith felt he should sit tight on the abdomen and I agree.’

 

‘Patient has chest pain when she lies on her side for over a year.’

 

‘On the second day, the painful knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared’

 

‘Her husband seems surprisingly sensible’.
 
‘Mr X thinks more of his dog than his wife’.
 
‘I’ve met the patient and I’ve met his wife, his children and the pet rabbit — and of all of them the pet rabbit is the most intelligent’.
 
The following examples show that American nurses are prone to writing strange things in their reports.

 

‘The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.’

 

‘Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.’

 

‘The skin was moist and dry.’

 

‘Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.’

 

‘She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.’

 

‘Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.’

 

‘The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day school three times a week.’

 

‘Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.’

 

‘Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.’

 

‘She is numb from her toes down.’

 

‘The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.’

 

‘The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.’

 

‘Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.’

 

‘Patient was alert and unresponsive.’

 

‘When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.’

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Janee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Janee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Dec 2007 at 21:38
Hi Coffin Dodger
 
ROFL Wow!! I've just managed to get a breath in between the laughter. Great post Big%20smile Clap
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melanie Hill View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote melanie Hill Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Feb 2012 at 14:51
I used to work with a nurse who notoriously hated nights. She would end up so tired she could barely write. This came to a head one night when writing her report about an elderly lady.
She reported that the patient had been "incontinent of soup".
She didn't elaborate on the variety...
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NurseLaura View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NurseLaura Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Feb 2012 at 20:58
Originally posted by Coffin Dodger Coffin Dodger wrote:

 

‘Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.’

 




I like it! LOL
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Scarlett View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Scarlett Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 2012 at 18:41
@ Coffin dodger thanks for those they made me laugh til my cheeks hurt Tongue
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